According to an article in the August 16, 2006, St. Paul Pioneer Press entitled: NWA WORKERS FACING LAYOFFS TAKE OFFENSE AT MONEY TIPS THAT INCLUDE DUMPSTER DIVING, (search for Northwest Airlines in archive) Northwest has a few unorthodox and "insincere" suggestions for their soon to be ex-employees to make ends meet.
After press exposure and employee "outrage" NWA pulled the list of 101 money saving tips from its employee website. So I say, let's give the airline a little help. I'll post a few tips here and readers can add more in the comments:
1. Ration meals. No more all you can eat dinners for your family. Each person gets an allotted amount. No eating until full; each person gets two meatballs and one spoonful of instant mash potatoes.
2. Cut back on condiments. No more filling your plate with relish or dabbing out whatever amount of mustard. Each person gets one level teaspoon of Ketchup on that hamburger.
3. Keep and eat leftovers an extra week. No throwing away perfectly good food, just because it's old.
4. Have an extended fast. Forget the natural 12-hour fast between supper and breakfast. Have a two- to three-week fast. Not only will you feel better, you will save a few bucks on your evening ration.
5. Shut the lights off. Use candles when you must have light. Use your iPod for a reading light.
6. Mooch. Neighbors have barbecues and get togethers, pop in and say "hi."
7. Plant a garden. It may take a few weeks for the veggies to be ready, but a bumper crop of potatoes and lettuce would come in quite handy in the fall.
8. Pawn off your bodily fluids. Raise extra funds by giving away your semen at the sperm bank or your blood by-products at the local Plasma Center.
9. Have a child, or two. More tax deductions, more money for you.
10. Sell your house. Find a cheaper place to live, like in your car or a campground or under the bridge by railroad tracks or under the freeway overpass, or, well you get the idea. (Okay, this one was one of the suggestions in the original 101).
11. Get odd jobs. Raise funds by washing windshields at street corners or collecting aluminum cans from around the neighborhood.
12. Find low-cost food options. Eat Ramen Noodles or visit your local soup kitchen.
13. Be creative. Use your imagination. Imagine working, imagine eating, imagine a better world. Lost in your imagination, you will have no need for all the pleasures of life you had become accustomed to.
14. Lower expectations. Hey, life sucks, it always has. So you had a job and got paid well, did work you could tolerate. You had it good. Accept your new existence and learn to live with less.
15. Burn stuff. To keep warm as winter approaches as well as to heat up your last bag of Ramen noodles, you can burn stuff in the fire barrel by the freeway overpass. Personally, I would start with the NWA pink slip and their employee handbook.
This is just a start, keep the ideas rolling.
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